the test

 - by Beth

I’m 11 weeks post-chemo and, internet? I have some hair. It’s nice and thick and even.  And, well, between a quarter and a half of an inch long.

A little piece of me is starting to think that I prefer my super short hair to scarves and buffs and wigs.  A little piece of me that is bold and brave.

I like that piece of me.

So I begin to ask, when do I go topless?  Scarfless, that is.  And, bigger yet, when do I retire my wig at work so I can weather a breezy day without holding my hair?  I likely am not brave enough to do this until I can be brave enough to post a picture of my topless self on the internet, as after doing so I can duck and run.  Deep breath:

Another picture of me in my bathroom for your enjoyment...

nsfw! topless girl here!

As making big decisions can be helped by lists of pros and cons, I give you my list.

Going topless pros

  • Honest, brave, and generally kick-*@(#
  • I can wear hoop earrings again without resembling a pirate (as scarfs can do, you see)
  • Compared to the wig, immensely more comfortable, which could be separate bullet points for itchiness, headaches, excessive heat and the annoyance of fake hair in my face
  • Brief opportunity to resemble an action hero
  • May receive compliments for my well shaped head
  • Will resemble other women I see occasionally in public who I admire for going topless, too

Going topless cons

  • Not much hair yet… short enough to kind of see my scalp
  • General embarrassment
  • Feeling of “coming out” at work where I’ve never worn a scarf
  • May scare kids at school
  • My head might get cold
  • May be mistaken for a prepubescent boy

I’m not sure that I’m quite there yet… maybe in a few weeks. What would you do?